Wow, sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. Yuck!

I was listening to a radio show a few months back and this lady was talking about separations and divorce. I wish I could remember the name of the book she was advertising, but it was about how often women don't get what is rightfully theirs in situations like this because they don't realize what is available to them. I'm sure it happens to men as well, but this radio show was concerning women.

My advise before doing anything is to learn exactly what your household is worth, etc, in the event you decide to go your separate way. The fact that the house is in his name doesn't sound good. I would definitely talk to someone about what to do there. I don't know that I would let husband know at this time what you are doing in that area until you get all your bases covered.

I don't know what you plan on doing in the end, but please take care of yourself and talk to people. I'm glad you have a T that you can discuss this with. I guess bottom line is what can you handle. I couldn't handle that, but I'm me. My first thought is Eff that. But, I do also know there is more to it than that, especially after 30 years.

If I can remember the name of that book, I'll let you know, but you might be able to do a search and find some information about how to keep yourself financially safe in situations like this.

Take care and please keep us posted.