Der..

i admire the true commitment you have to your over-all health... that you dont have a therapist in the present moment is not an issue as long as you are continuing to work on yourself (and including the all needed break times)

we all are on the path to healing and the words you have chosen to share with us are uplifting and its evident that you are not 'stalling'... allow yourself time to refelct on the past and project your own future.. you can become what you most desire with work, effort, self love, other love and kind care for yourself and others...

best wishes always