((((((vetswife)))))) on losing your sister.

I cant agree more with Lenny and bebop's statements. The person has to make a conscious decision to WANT to quit. I attend regular AA meetings and I probably will for the rest of my life. I had been sober 6 months before I took the white chip and committed myself to the AA program. I so wish that I could pass on the gift of willingness. I cannot. Nor can a court system or anyone else. I think if a person is court ordered it may be a blessing to introduce them to a design for living that can really work for them - but they have to want to to stop - and learn to live again.

Groups such as AA are based on fellowship and sobriety as a whole. I have found in my group that I learn the most from the elders. From those old timers I have learned more tricks to keep myself sober, I've experienced humor and so much love for them that I know AA will be a part of my life always. The younger ones come and go.....and I think I'm the youngest one that has "stayed in" this long. I always speak to newcomers, and I expect nothing, I just share my experiences.

These groups have worked for a very long time to help many people with many levels of addictions to find serenity, peace, and sobriety. Some say we have to hit rock bottom. "Rock Bottom" has and indefinite definition. Your sister may not enjoy her lifestyle but - is she ready to change? If she only stays in programs a year - and then goes out on her own - who is her support system? I went through probably 2 cases of beer a week for a good 2 or 3 years of my life......yeah, I was not happy with my lifestyle........and I wanted to change.........but I did not want to face the fact that it may take more than "me". Everyone is different. AA works for those who seek the wisdom and follow the program.

Regardless - your sister has to find her own way (In that I mean that I really, really, genuinely hope that the light bulb switches on!). I genuinely feel for you. I know what it is like to lose a loved one to drugs, alcohol, or both. It is heart wrenching and almost crippling. You and your sister are in my thoughts.

Take care......