have you thought about volunteering after those gruesome school hours?
(i know school can be miserable for many kids, so don't feel all alone there)
Caring for the elderly at a nursing home, like a candy-striper type thing, helping the nurses and such, being a comfort to the residents there?
Or volunteering at the local hospital?
Or library?
Anywhere needing volunteers?
i tell you this because you will be appreciated, welcomed, and valued in these environments. It speaks volumes about your character to offer help to people in need, and it build character.
You need to love yourself Dear Person.
You are important and a special individual, and the kids in your school system haven't been taught enough about valuing each individual. Same happens in the us of a. Many kids suffer isolation and ridicule. To disasterous effects sometimes.
Let's concentrate on you.
Promise to treat yourself better. Maybe start a journal and log your feelings in it.
Try being e-mail friends with kids your age in other countries - someone to compare the good things in life with, what would give you pleasure to think about and wish for...things you have in common, like, maybe you care about the environment?
Global warming maybe another avenue to persue an interest in - and if you want to know more and how to help - there are sites for young people to get involved.
You can make friends that way too as you are helping the planet, see?
There are church and youth groups that insist on the value of extending friendship to all their members. Have you one of those around?
Volunteering is the best, I think, for your situation.
It feels wonderful to help people, and see the difference you can make.
Won't you try some of these suggestions, or think on these things for a day or two?
It might have another affect as well, it might bring you positive attention at school for the improvement you have made in your self-esteem and for others.
The best way to have a friend is to be a friend.
It doesn't matter if that friend is very young, your age, or older.
You seem to need the comfort of companionship and love.
I send those intentions to you long distance ... thoughts of peace and comfort, hope and love.
Keep posting Dear Person.
You are cared about... and there are people your age at this community too!
You might meet them in the chat room sometime.
peace and love,
nightbird