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there's always that worry in the back of my mind of when the rejection will come. Unfortunately, my only experience with women is having them as friends or good friends. But still, I go through all that up and down emotional stuff when a relationship is developing. It's like when I don't hear from someone after a time I normally expect to, I start to panic. I don't know what will stop the insecurity.

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Hi, Isolated Guy - Yes, that's exactly the feeling, just the way that I have it. Sometimes we get so fed up worrying if we have a relationship or not that we kind of give up. I guess the logic we use is that it's not worth the hassle.

Problem is, with that strategy we'd never have any relationships at all!

More normal people don't work like this. IMHO, due to their self confidence, they don't blame absences on themselves, and probably don't think too much about it. Then when the friend contacts them again it's a pleasant surprise. Or maybe they don't mind chasing the friend up a bit, as they don't expect to be rejected.

I have a story for you. I was on a college course once and there was a guy on the course who was a bit of a nuisance. He kept pestering the female course members to go out with him. He just went from one girl to another, and made himself quite unpopular. No one would go out with him, and lots of people complained about his behaviour.

Finally he got to the last girl, a foreigner who didn't speak English too well but who was stunningly attractive and with a lovely personality. He asked her out, and she accepted!

Now they are happily married. I mean, there's got to be a moral in there somewhere. Maybe it's not the 'meek' that inherit the earth but the 'thickskinned'. I've never had that guys confidence due to my illness, and I wouldn't have liked to be like him, but I can't deny that he got what he wanted in the end.

We just have to find other ways. There is something that I do that helps a little with the rejection sensitivity. I go to a meditation/healing group where we just sit together, following a guided meditation. Sometimes we hold hands. In the silence, my sensitivity disappears, and it feels like we are all there together. I don't have to impress anyone, or try to be chatty. I am the only guy in the group, everyone else is female, and it feels OK.

It's a thought.

Cheers, Myzen