Thanks again.
I can use "you have a problem with that?", and "you took a happy pill today?" or "why are you complaining?" "what are you complaining about?"
More, more, more - these are what I need.
Maybe her negativity has to be stopped in those moments when it occurs.
It seems almost like some of her negative remarks are nasty/snappish in order to elicit a certain kind of response from me - and I find this controlling and peculiar.