LOL, I'll try. Sorry for the oblique nature of sqrl mind.

When I consider an idea of some part of me being in charge, so to speak, I find that idea not to work very well for me. There doesn't seem to be a "best" part, but an inter related whole in which all the parts are inter dependent. By surveying what can be the chaotic mess inside when one part seems to be leading the whole astray, I develop a sense of myself beyond the strife. So I find myself considering the opposite feeling of a troubling one, and seeking out connection to it, as a way of balancing.

Maybe it's an odd approach growing out of life bipolar. I can no more trust my manic mind than my depressed mind. And in between those states, everything else is still an opposite expression of yet another.

I'm not getting a feeling that I'm actually illuminating my idea. Gack.