I think the comparison to alcohol (drugs too) could be that both things are used to avoid feeling the feelings that we just don't know what to do with, diversions so that the focus shifts. Shifts away from what has stirred us up.

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I also feel that I need to take greater risks in therapy. In this way I can begin to use words and begin to let out some of the stress I hold in ALL THE TIME.

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Wow! This is so brave, MissCharlotte!!
I think it's huge to be able to see what would help us. To name it as you have and to consider moving closer to it is so courageous and I felt you being very loving to yourself when I read that.