Yeah, I realize half the stuff I worry about is ridiculous. And my doctor 2 years ago had me on all sorts of meds. Mostly for the ADD so I could concentrate in school. I had been taking Straterra, which made me sleepy and feel sick, then I got put on Adderall XR. I got taken off of that because of problems associated with it, and they thought that was making me sick. It was finally over spring break, where I did absolutely nothing all week because I kept claiming I was really sick or dying, that I got a perscription for Xanax to calm me down. Fortunately, I am not on that anymore. Actually, I'm not taking anything right now either.

Unfortunately, because I'm not working full time, I have no insurance, so I can't afford to see a therapist. But I did talk to my mom last night, and she was suggesting things I could do to help myself. She is also glad that I decided to come to this site and talk to others.

And honestly, besides my parents, and other really close friends, I feel like I have to keep all of my mental problems a secret. Nobody believes me that I have ADD because I'm not hyper. I just have a problem with staying on topic and concentrating sometimes. Also, I know people would take the anxiety lightly, or make fun of me. It just makes me sick that these problems can be very life altering, but everyone thinks they are a joke.

I guess what is really not helping my mood this week is from another message board I post on. I know the people who post there can be such jerks, but I try not to let it bother me. Anyway, I made 1 post about an overnight trip to NYC I did last week, because it was fun. Of course I made the mistake of posting all the details, but that really is how I am. When I tell a story, I need to tell every single unimportant detail because some are just funny. Well, because of that, I got made fun of, and still sort of am. I actually yelled at a so called friend on there for joining in, but we are cool now. Again, I feel like I can't share some info with her because I know it will leak to the people who don't really like me, and it will all be a mess on how I have "mental problems." Plus, I don't want it to be an excuse.

I guess I should be glad that I have not let this problem take over my entire life. Like I said, I am able to go out to places and have fun. I just need to stop believing that anyone I meet in life, or talk to will automatically label me as being a loser.