Thanks H:
That was one of the really useful pieces of advice that my therapist gave me -- that I have to stop using the language that "I caused him to get worse" based on something I said or did. To be fair, my boyfriend doesn't really lay a guilt trip on me very often.

Okay, but like the last time, let's say for the sake of tough love only, I give him a new date, and the actual day comes and he still doesn't have a job and he still hasn't moved out? What do I do then? Especially since I really don't want him to go -- I just want him to feel better and to get a job! This is why I feel like HE is in control and not me!

I just called a therapist that the crisis center recommended... am waiting for a call back. I feel so terrible today (cry cry cry)

Ian is going to be a-ok!