this could be triggering - please do not read this if you are triggered easily..serious.

After my session with my t and revealing i am DID and ending being validated - i felt so good and relieved. ... my husband came home and i asked him about some memory losses i was having and looking for support from him .. well i thought.
he brings up old abuse from the past when he would physically hurt me ..and told me last night that none of my memories are correst and they are twisted and that he never ever hurt me ..he said he would take a lie detector test to prove it cuz he says he believes he woud pass it .. he said no one believes me .. however we have photos of my blackened face when he fractured my skull throwning my by my hair to the floor in a slam ..when i tried to reach the phone that was ringing .. i had to crawl because i could not walk - the world was turning upside down but had to get out of the house ..and scream until finally the police showed up .. the asked me to press charges and i was too scared to ..so i didnt.. i went to the dr.and had it documented .. a year later i had a sinus surgery that required a ct scan .. it showed very clear a fracture in the temple of my head .. the doc looked at him and asked ..looking at my husband .. WHO FRACTURED YOUR SKULL??? VERY MEAN!!! the doc said Do you realize if she gets hit here one more time she will die??
My husband who i still live with 20 years later .. denies this andso when we were recalling memories .. he brings this up .. i asked him PLEASE Dont go there ..because it is a anger button for me and i will go off ..so dont talk about this one ... he kept on and on till we were in a full blown argument .. he said all the abuse i have been through in my life was a lie and he doesnt believe anything i say ..
omg i am so so hurt still and it is the morning after .. we were supose to go to his moms for the 4th for a bbq with family .. i did not go .. he and my son just left and all i want to do is sleep off these feelings i cant handle .. so triggered and just cant be anywhere near him.. we live alone our kids are grown and live on there own ..
so much to say - i need my t ... i am ok - i am safe .. we were able to speak this morning and he did apologize that he doesnt believe me .. just leaves me depressed ..why do we stay together ? what is the purpose and reason of staying together is all that is going to happen is depression and isolation ? i told him i want to divorce with unreconsilable differences despite all the abuse .. i just want out away from him so i can live a happier life and pick up the pieces of my life .. the angry part of me needs to calmdown inside ..i am extemly switchy today and i cant control it.. so going to sleep it off and see how i feel when i get up ..think of ways to take care of myself when he come back. Didnt mean to ramble i just need to talk to someone that understands. any thoughts out there on this?