My husband and I love each other very much, but damn, we have a lot of %#@&#! to work out!!

He absolutely refuses to go to marriage therapy. I have approached the subject in 3,482 ways, but he just won't go.

He says that it just isn't something that he is interested in... it is just something that he's not "into." He doesn't see how a therapist would help. Unfortunately, my husband tends to see our problems as completely my fault, and believes that if I just "fixed" a couple of things, we'd be good to go.

Besides the fact that his view is a complete insult to my profession (What does he think I do all day? lol.. Just hang out and chat with people?), it just hurts that he is not willing to take that step towards strengthening our marriage.

T says to go without him. He said that plenty of people go to a marriage therapist without their spouse. He said that the marriage therapist would be very different than our individual therapy because it would be focusing on the RELATIONSHIP, not me as individual.

I agreed. I told my husband about it, and he was fine with it.... BUT HE STILL REFUSED TO GO. Grrrrrrr.

I hope that, in time, I will begin to make changes that are evident in the relationship... and that H will eventually accompany me.

The agency that I see T at has many locations throughout and outside of the city... the location that is specific for marriage therapy happens to be right near the agency that I work at. My T's agency does not take insurance.

Without asking me first (I love T, haha), T did his research and asked around for an intern with a great supervisor. He told me that he found an intern with a supervisor that he knows very well.

He told me that he said to the supervisor, "My client is great, but she is difficult, is also a therapist and will argue and challenge the marriage counselor." Hahahahahaha... he knows me so, so well.

Of course, T and I argued about the therapist. I told him that I actually wanted a woman therapist because I wanted this to be completely different. I told him that if he was going to get me an intern, it had to be someone considerably older, and with more life experience than me. He made a comment that I would want a therapist who looks like Marilyn Monroe. I began to freak out saying that I wanted someone who is old and looks like a witch. Then T made me laugh VERY hard by pretending he was on the phone interviewing the new therapist for me.

T says, "Ok. I will call her and say: Question 1: Are you ugly? Question 2: Do you remember the shooting of JFK? More importantly, were you alive during it? What were you doing?"

I was laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe.

I love him for taking care of me like this.

What do you guys think? Has anyone gone to marriage therapy without their spouse?