How did it go? I hope you were honest and that he realized that it's better for you to develop coping skills in the real world than to be locked away. It sounds like you are doing better. I hope that he gave you credit for the progress you have made.

It makes sense that cutting makes you feel strong, but wasn't the night before the appointment. Cutting probably gives you a sense of power and control, but at that moment cutting wasn't going to give you power or control, and you might have been worried that it would cause you to lose your freedom again, rather than protect you.

You have strength, but I hope you can come to see that your strength doesn't come from hurting yourself. It comes from having a choice, and exercising your choice.