All I can do is speak from how it would feel to me. Lonely, yes. Going to couples counseling alone would feel like the first step to living alone. I'm not saying don't do it, just that if it feels that way to you, I hope he hears it. It feels like it could add distance, and reinforce his nutty notion that it's all your problem.

For him to express how little he respects therapy (your passion) is just sad. But, it may just be an expression of his fear of being cornered into having to look inside himself. I think he's plum scared.

When one person is in indiv therapy and they grow and explore, they also mature and change in many ways. You may have grown emotionally so much that he's scared of this new person. He's being challenged to grow up too, and maybe he just ain't ready. Maybe he won't ever be. I dunno.

The other problem is that it's inevitable to compare H to T. T listens and emotes, and does all those grown up "in touch with my feminine side" things. H is still in the "I grunt my emotions" stage. If you go ahead with the couples counseling stuff - I would spend some time on this. How can H ever live up to the standard that T has set?

S