Boom! Here I am again! I can't concentrate on anything else right now, unfortunately.

About whether it would balance if he's working -- I think yes, no matter what kind of job he has. Again, my therapist didn't agree and I tried to reconsider my position about it with hopes that she'd have a good point and that I would learn something about myself. She seemed to think that it wouldn't be enough for him to have a low-paying, low-prestige job. That offended me! I don't think I've ever placed any importance on the TYPE of job my future partner would have... just as long as it's stable and that they are happy. So I think it would be financially balanced if he were working... because I'm not necessarily always going to make the same amount of money as I do right now (probably not, actually... thinking of a career change).

Emotionally... actually, the people in his life didn't make ANY decision for him, and I think that's where the problem started. His dad was never part of his life, and his mom, as nice as she is, had a very controlling father and she swore that she would never be the kind of parent to tell her child what to do. As a result, she stayed out of all of his decisions, and I think the result is that he never learned to set his own direction... hence the floundering. He was, to his credit, on his way with school, but it was taking him a lot longer than it would take other people.

Okay, I'll stop whining. It's clear that I need to take some action here. It just sucks. I already feel overwhelmed with doing everything for both of us and this tough love thing is going to take more emotional strength than I have ever needed. Maybe that's why I haven't done it already.

Thanks all,
Your sad friend,
LMo

Ian is going to be a-ok!