> anxiety is my biggest foe.

This is going to seem to make no sense: just sit there and have the anxiety and watch it and think about it. I know how hard it is. But I am finding out that when and if I can admit to myself that I am anxious, I realize it really is from the past, and I am trying to run away from it and make it go away because it is so scary. It was so scary. But having it now is not as scary as it was to me as a child. It doesn't go away, but it is just there, and nothing really bad is going to happen (most likely). My brain seems to be pumping chemicals telling me DANGER DANGER but it isn't happening. Sitting and watching it even as I go about what passes for my normal life, I can see that it isn't about now. It was for sure, but isn't now. Trying to make it go away, trying to deny that it is there, makes things worse.

Strange stuff.