Hi Wishful;

Sorry you feel so bad, when you're down it seems like everything is out of you control and there is nothing you can do. The first thing you can do is stop hurting and being so hard on yourself, and the second is to go and ask for help again, people sometimes forget, because they get caught up in there life and forget us. If you still need more help, seek it please, life is too short.

I wish you happiness, love and control.