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Went to my pdoc today. Told her my rapid cycling is getting worse and my depression is getting downright scary. So, she added Risperdal. She won't increase my ADs. I just can't get through to her. I just know I'm going to end up hospitalized or worse if I can't convince her really soon. I think it may be time for a new pdoc. I'd rather rapid cycle than be extremely suicidal.

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Well, the Risperdal has done jack!!! It doesn't seem to matter what med they put me on, here I sit extremely suicidal again. I have an appt with my GP tomorrow afternoon. I intend to inform him of my extreme frustration of all these psych meds that don't do jack. Maybe he can suggest something for me or find me another pdoc. ANYTHING!!! I'm getting scared of being in the abyss so much, clinging to life by a bare thread, while my pdoc doesn't listen to me and continues to play Russian Roulette with my life. I'm usually pretty good at hiding my depression with my family and can put on a fairly good 'act' but not when I'm this low, there's no way to hide this, so now I'm shutting myself off from everybody, while I fight to try and stay alive. I'm seriously thinking of coming off the whole bloody works of meds at this point.