this is so interesting... i went in the opposite direction.. and it has its own advantages and disadvantages. i became louder... larger than life in a way. i just put my head down and plowed through. It was my protection too. It was an in-your-face response. Intimidate them before they got to you. It's false of course... a shell with a timid little girl inside.

It has gotten me places at times.. but it also makes me so conspicuous. i tend to draw fire from people because i am a visible target. People project all kinds of crap on me. Instead of blending in.. i'm like dressed in hunter orange. If something goes wrong.. if i say the wrong thing.. or whatever.. it's very public.. i'm under scrutiny. It gets to be a burden.

sometimes i long to be invisible... to just be able to hide.

OTOH.. it means a lot of people just dont %#@&#! with me... people who might hurt me stay away.