((((foreverlost)))))
Yeah - my care team is on it - and this isn't my house. So they are working on getting me out of this one (my mom's) since evidently i do not have the skill set to do it myself (which is also embarrassing at 31!!) But i keep having to come back to the new phrase my care team has taught me - this is not my fault. I cannot help how i have been programmed, other than by reaching out for help which i am doing. *whew*. Thanks be given for the will to survive and thrive =)

Here’s annother example of a prevailing attitude within our house that I just thought of… this concerns our bedrooms but is true for all circumstances; food, space, backrubs, cars….
I’m always allowed in her bedroom. I never want her in mine. She believes that what is expected of one, is also then expected of the other (as it applies to her – not me). I’m not allowed to tell her that I don’t want her in mine. Reminding her to knock before entering is hard enough. When encouraging her to have respect for boundaries, and to model the kind of behaviors I would appreciate, I knock on her door or ask if I can come in – she always answers “of course, you’re always welcome, you don’t need to ask”. I tell her that it is curious and since she is expected to knock, I am doing the same. So when I tell her I don’t want her in my room she says “well you come in mine whenever you want to!” Thing is, my shower doesn’t work, so I have to use hers, in her room. So it’s not even if I want to go in – I have to in order to shower.
Why is it that this is so difficult to pin down? I still feel like I haven’t made my point. Like with food, it is She offers me hers, therefore she can take mine. I’m allergic to 95% of what American’s eat, so I have special food that I expect to be there when I look for it.
Our cars are the same way; if we go somewhere – we go in mine. If she invites me someplace, we go in mine. If I am going someplace (like to the store) she is also going because otherwise she pouts. She never pays me gas money. We never go in hers because she never has gas.
Can anyone help think what this pattern is? What is it I am trying to say?