I wonder if our mom's were separate at birth...
The only boundary i have maintained is around the computer because I journal about my life on it. And the only way i manage to maintain it is to just look at her with this defeated "please don't make me hand this over to you too" look. I don't say no, i just look defeated. If i say no, it will be a fight i will lose. Even just with the look i get "It's not like I ask a lot from you, kiya (insert birth name here)!! I'm not going to read any of your stuff!!! I can't believe you'd deny me this one little thing!! I can't get work because I can't get on the net!! You're keeping me from getting jobs!!" So i get that burden as well (though i do shove it off) and yes she'd read my private stuff - she's done it before. Fact is, part of the reason i leave my personal space such a disaster is to *keep* her out. She can't crawl over it all. Heh. God i must get out of here.
I didn't set the "you must knock before entering" boundary. My t from 3 yrs ago did. Mom threw a fit and yelled and then made a joke out of it. She manages to knock about 60% of the time. Too bad we also didn't teach her "you must also wait to be invited in after knocking." Aaaah well. Seriously, I didn't know many parents start allowing their kids privacy at around the age of puberty. I was really shocked. I'm not allowed to close my door, either - or there is another fight.
But, you're right Pink, when she's not treating me like i'm 9, i am the mom setting the boundaries for her - telling her when to eat, what to eat or not, helping her with cuts or wounds, putting on her jewelary for her, writing cover letters for her, applying for jobs for her, helping her choose outfits.... this is depressing.
((((((pink))))))))