maybe.. if I post it.. it will go away... I can't sleep.. cause.. this nightmare.. over and over again...it never goes away...I have been divorced for about 23 years...

In the nightmare..

I am re-married to my abusive ex-husband.. how I got married.. or why... is a msytery..

BUT I want out desparately...so so so desparately.. more than anything in the world.. he disgusts me... I am terriffied of him.. scared to death..

I am at work.. in my office... and I can't stay awake.. I keep going to the yellow pages to find a lawyer.. and the printing blurs.. or.. I can't find the attorney pages.. or I find the attorney pages.. and can't find one that does divorces..or I find one.. and am driving... and can't find the office..

and.. the dream goes on.. and on... trying to stay awake.. so I can find the help I need... because I know... he will kill me.. if he finds out.. I want a divorce..

and IRL... I was terrified of him.. and I did hide at safe houses.. and it was a real nightmare...

just want this dream to go away... and never come back...

how many times.. do I need to re-live this???????