I wish I had some answers for you. Maybe you could train yourself to wake up when you start dreams like that. Or learn to tell yourself in the dream that it isn't now and you don't have to live through that anymore. A part of you must still have something that hasn't been processed enough yet. Something still not fully understood somewhere. You have more strength and power than you know. You did get out of those situations, but part of you still doesn't know it.