Stumbled upon this place awhile back and am finally here.

Not sure what is all here yet and haven't had a lot of time to look through. Sure everyone here has seen most things, so maybe someone can help direct me to what I'm looking for.

I've had this general drowning numb feeling for years. Its not that I don't want to do things I just don't have the "courage" to face criticism which cripples me from going out and doing better for myself. I constantly feel people are judging me in a negative way even in the face of compliments and if they seek me out to spend time. Even when I'm having "fun" my mind is constantly focussed on the worst parts of me or what new problem on my horizon.

I desperatelly want help, but am unemployed (happened a couple of weeks ago) and don't feel like I can afford a doctor. I'm really really sick of feeling this way and need something to move on.

....so is this the right section for me and is there anyone who knows of options for a person like me either online or off?