I feel your pain. I am almost the exact same way. I feel like it is really hard to trust people. But, the first thing you should do to help yourself is to find a new job, even if it is something miniscule. Anything is better than nothing. You also need to start thinking of yourself in a more positive light, and if others tell you different, don't listen. I just wish I could take my own advice, but I'm trying to be better.