i have been so busy with my grandbabies ( they were with me for 2 weeks) that i didn't have to stay stuck on issues... or in a way even look at some... well i took to their other grandma's house today... and i never know if or when i will see them again... which is triggering on it's own.... but now my past is colliding with the present again... and i can't get grounded.

sometimes i wonder if flashbacks are real or if i am just loosing it completely... i want to cut to make them stop... but in reality i know that won't do it... just helps me not be here for awhile... and right now i am thinking that it would be worth it... even the thought of having to face my t... doesn't seem to be a deterrent... so in advance... i am sorry... lyn