<font color="#000088"> i've had major depression for many years now. and over time, i've just gotten worse. i'm no longer in college and back at home with my parents. my friends don't talk to me anymore. i've been trying lots of meds and stuff.

i'm just sick of always fighting so hard. i no longer have the energy or the will. there's no point to fighting a losing battle, right? i just don't know what to do anymore. i know i should keep on fighting, but it just feels like my subconscience already made that decision for me. i don't want to give up, but seems like i already have.

and the worst thing is i'm losing control of my mind! how in the frickin' heck can you explain that to anyone?! the thoughts come and i can't stop them. it's only a matter of time before i crack, right???

jrae </font>