been thinking about that a lot today, actually. the intense longings... maybe they arise from idealization. maybe those intense longings that can't be met arise from splitting. maybe splitting and idealization isn't a defense from those intense longings, maybe the intense longings are a manifestation of the splitting and idealization.

so... sometimes... the intense longings can feel like a desire to be held or something like that. but... imagine if you were held and you weren't let go. eventually... your need would be satiated and you would want to go off exploring. do something independent. eventually... you would want to assert yourself in some way.

so maybe it is about learning to blend / integrate things better. and doing that will result in the longings lessening... maybe.

just hard to see how sometimes.