I'm so sorry your family is that way, it's not fair to you at all, maybe you need to break the link to your family for now to heal yourself. As far as your reel father, he maybe going through doubts himself, he may feel he let you down and afraid or feels he doesn't belong in you life and that is why he doesn't answer your letters. He may not understand what he is doing to you now, keep trying but don't get your hopes up, so they won't get hurt.

You don't deserve too be treated that way, some parents are like that. My grandparents were like that with my mom when she was going up and they treat us like we're scrum of the earth, but since my parents deaths, I haven't talked with them or them to me.

Keep faith and do your best that is all you can do, one day at a time and with baby steps. You are special and have a lot to give!

Hugs