I think we're supposed to give ourselves/lives to things that are important to us? One grieves when a close person dies because of the part of ourselves we've "invested" in that relationship/other person and we have to get that "back" so we can invest it elsewhere. There's nothing wrong that you invested yourself/life in your marriage, Sunny!

My T commented, 6-8 years ago that she felt I was, "kind but critical," and I mostly heard the "but critical" in a negative way (I'm also very discerning, the positive side of "critical": having or revealing keen insight and good judgment; "a discerning critic"; "a discerning reader" from http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=discerning ) and had a heck of a time getting past that to a more balanced approach and/or realizing I don't have to stay "stuck" there if I don't want to.