Hi Angel,
You've summed it up. That's what it can feel like. I only raised the thread because psych central feels like a safe place, and I'm sure it is. The people here understand.
For years I could never mention the rejection feelings, not even to a counsellor, and now here we are sharing. It is frightening to share these feelings, but I think it's better than bottling them up.
I hope it gets easier for you,
Myzen.