It's been awhile since I've been on PC. Last time I think I was either on leave in NJ or still in Okinawa.
To give a brief history. My marriage well, has not been the best one to say the least. It's been over 9 years of struggle, mainly cause neither one of us are right in the head. In the last 2 months I've consumed enough alcohol to kill an elephant a dozen times over. And I can't (at least for right now) see an end to this downward spiral.
In April I was still in Okinawa after being there for almost a year. Then I had to transfer to N.C. And I was so excited myself and the Mrs. had it all worked out to move down there, (she canceled the lease and quit her job) to come down w/ me. But not three day's after flying 1/2 way across the world and driving across the country she tells me the marriage is over and I'm not coming with you.
I was so blind-sided and traumatized that I have not yet fully mourned what has transpired. I feel so depressed. Drinking myself to being drunk almost every evening. I feel like a drone at work. I have no desire to go out or let alone socialize. This past Saturday night I nearly finished an entire bottle of Wild Turkey 101. When I woke up yesterday afternoon I have a big knot on the back of my head, chair knocked over and in different clothes. Flip flops facing the shower head and clothes tossed up on the shower curtain rod. I'm shocked that I'm still alive and didn't to anything too stupid.
In any event things still are very difficult as far as communicating w/ the Mrs. I feel like she's expecting the impossible out of me being over 500 miles away from our beautiful daughter.
I'm depressed and alone w/ no family or real friends here. This hell seems like forever. <font color="green"> </font>