i have to agree with kimmy...PLEASE get some help.....you don't have to live like this..i know.....i've been there.......medication gave me a new life...a whole new beautiful world......i think you told me you were taking something sporadically......please consider getting some more help with the meds......it took me quite awhile to find the right one but it was soooooo worth it.....i care about you.......peace julia