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THREE Faces of Low Self-Esteem

Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:

The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.

The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.

The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.

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This is from the link Doc John posted to us to get us going. Does anyone recognize themselves even just a little bit? Don't feel bad. I do!

Right here: Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority. And then this: problems with perfectionism, procrastination,... and burn-out.

Speaking for myself, I already know what caused my lack of self-esteem, but sometimes I wonder if we really need to know the "why." The fact is, I need to work on it some more.

What do ya'll think? Do you feel you need to know who, why or what? It's your choice.

Like I've said, I've always been a rebel in one way or the other. That's not to say that I didn't believe the critisisms; I did. Old tapes. When I hear them, I tell myself exactly the opposite.

"You're so dumb!" - "No, I'm not! I've always passed my English classes with an 'A'!" My therapist told me that if one has the mastery of the English language, like being able to read and right well, then the doors of the world are open to you.

"Why can't you be more like your cousins?!" - Because I'm not them. I AM me; my own unique self with my own likes and dislikes and my own goals in life.

"I want you to have an important career like your cousins." - I want my "career" to be a good wife and mother. (BTW... I made it! ) I've also gone as far as I can go with college English classes. Maybe in my later years, I'll be a writer. Not my mother's idea of an "important career." Not mine either! hehe I've already accomplished that!

Good luck, guys! I'm really looking forward to what this forum is going to accomplish.

An important PS: You guys that feel you have a better handle on self-esteem, please, please contribute your experiences. We all need all the help we can get.