((((Silver))))
Please don't hate yourself, you're a kind, caring, compassionate, and friendly person. You don't deserve to be hurting like this.
And don't be so hard on yourself for falling back into familiar, comfortable, though dangerous patterns of SI. Progress isn't linear: it's up and down, forward and backward. I've made my fair share of mistakes in the past few days, too, so there's nothing to apologize for.
I have faith that you'll be able to get it back in control in due time, and that you'll get more grounded with time and effort.
Take care and stay safe,
 
J
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"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair."
-Bertrand Russell
With love and hope,
<~/J\~>
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