Thank you for your supportive comments.

I have had a very bad week. I am anxious about finances and afraid I will never go back to work (haven't worked as RN in nine years).
I regret buying my expensive (to me) convertible last year and wish I instead had a couple more sensible cars for myself and my son. I have cried and have lost interest in my hobby and things I normally enjoy. I am bipolar and my doc told me there would be ups and downs on the road to recovery and this is a definite down.

Even my horse, my best friend, has been no help. I have been leaving his feed in the barn and have not been calling him in to eat and be petted as I normally do. I have wished this week that I could find him a loving home and sell my farm and move into a low maintenance apartment.

I have an appt with my therapist Thursday and I need it badly.

I am feeling really low.