hey guys, I have some bad news You know about my relationship with my boyfriend-well I have a feeling we're about to break up, I feel on the brink. I dont know...It just seems like every thing's going down hill. I mean when we started going out everything was so perfect and now? It's indescribable!! For one thing he seems really distant in the sense that he doesn't respond to my texts, emails, and we hang out less then we did before I have a gut feeling that he doesn't like me anymore. Now I've talked to him about it-well not really lol All I've ever asked him is if he thinks every thing's going alright with our relationship and he said that everything was going fine..

I swear to god he's lying! I dont understand why he doesn't tell me! I mean, when we started getting further apart I just thought that he was busy or stressed out or something but now? no-no I dont! It's literally been a week and he hasn't hung out with me-I mean sure we chat once in awhile but other then I haven't seen him

I dont know maybe I'm paranoid-I talked about it with my friend kalee and she just said that I probably was overthinking things and maybe I am lol but still she told me instead of worrying if he likes me or not I should start thinking about all the good traits that I like in him and remember the good things about him and I have, it's just now every time I think about it it just makes me more frustrated and irritable

I know this sounds horrible of me but..I guess I sort of new that something like this would happen to me I mean, guys hated me before what makes him different!! and I feel bad cause I want to blame him for me feeling horrible and sad, just cause when he met me for the first time I was happy, I stopped going to therapy, I was actually improving my life!! I made new friends, I was less shy, more brave and now? he ruined everything!! I'm back where I started-and for what ? for a stupid boy I liked!! dammit I'm an idiot!

lol it's funny cause I realized that I was happier in the past then I am now I really want to end it with him I really do-but I dont cause he's a good person and I like him! what's wrong with me? I wish I hadn't have met him... every things just horrible now I wish I could somehow tell him how I feel but every time I do it's for not! I wish I was brave and confident other wise I'd probably do it. I just dont understand why? why can't I be happy? everyone around me is why can't I be?

And what's weird is when I met him I was first suspicious-as to why a guy would like me! guys either made fun of me/sexual harassment or they would ignore my existence -now all of sudden some guy likes me? I didn't believe it...but then we went out for the first time and I actually felt like guys could like me-that guys could think I was pretty but I guess I was wrong
weird how your hope can be crushed within a single blow..