Schatje - I believe you have hit the nail on the head here. I identify this as the probable base of the problem: difficulty hearing and accepting what I am saying and how I intend it vs it's being a provocational attack; I suggested (at a time following the 'episode') that he make another Doc appt for some lab work and possible med adjustment (I was met with a questioning look and verbal acknowledgement of why? but maybe if I think it necessary) - but no motion towards calling Doc.
I pray everyday not to become a codependant and not to allow this to take over my life (btw-Serenity Prayer helps) but I am close to calling Doc and getting therapist referral for him myself. He tells me to do it - but I know HE should take the iniative based on my honest assessment of the situation and his feelings of acceptance of the illness and committment to doing all he can to arrest the illness and hold future episodes at bay. Am I right or wrong here?
My perspective: If he had a cardiac issue and couldn't get to the phone - ofcourse I'd call and take him. He can with this issue - use the phone and drive. If I had a 'girl problem' affecting our sex life - not only would he expect me to seek to fix it - I would initiate getting help because I would want to give the best in my relationship.