I was just trying to put you in the position of viewing your situation from another perpective. You realize that your relationship is currently unhealthy, and we very often give excellent advice to those we love.
I think you're both unhappy and unfullfilled right now. It does bother my comfort zone (for what it's worth) that she's laid hands on you in anger and that you appear to be swallowing everything that's thrown at you outwardly, but inwardly seething about it. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Long term relationships are precious and very complicated. How does she see your relationship? What is it that has her so frustrated that she feels the need to attack you (not rationalizing or excusing the behavior)? Can you use some of the tools from therapy to determine what the underlying problems are such as each of you writing down what you love most about your relationship and what you'd most like to change (no hostility allowed)?
I really feel for you, this must be so frustrating and painful.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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