I have this huge fear I'll turn into my dad or half-brother. I look in the mirror and I can just see them. I have eyes that look so much like my dad's.

I'd never do what he did, I know that, I'm not him, but I'm just scared because we were family there's some twisted story that runs through our blood. He did drugs all the time. I remember when I was younger and got faced with drugs and did the stupid thing by getting involved. Years later, I'm a complete idiot because I'll say I hate drugs because he did them but I'm addicted myself.

At least I'm quitting, something he never did. At least I'm trying to improve and be a good person. But sometimes I feel what does it matter, he won. They won.