((((((((((Griffe))))))))))) Sorry you are struggling.

Do you have a therapist that is helping you through this? It's not something you should tackle on your own, in my opinion.

I do have at least one suicidal part and I get suicidal from time to time. Through T, I've learned to hang on and let it pass because time has proven that it's true. It's really hard if both me and this other part are suicidal at the same time because that part is quite violent as well.

At one point because of similar stuff to what you are saying, we agreed to be triggered by T so she could talk to that part. It's not something one should do on his or her own, but thankfully T is experienced and knew what to do. It helped a LOT. That's why I asked if you had a t, especially one experienced in DID. I don't think I would trust anyone else to do that.

Good luck Griffe. I hope you can stay safe. Take care.