(((((((((((((S)))))))))))))))
I am so sorry. I know what you mean about not being able to face nor bear her absence, but with time it will get a bit better...I know that doesn't help NOW, but knowing that you are not alone I hope will help you.

My mother passed on February 6th of this year at the age of 55 from cancer and my b-day was June 29th and it was my first without her. It is horribly heartbreaking to face different events without her being here, but knowing she is out of the immense pain helps to soothe my aching heart and I hope, eventually, it can do the same for you.

Sorry, I don't mean to hi-jack your thread, I just want you to know that you are not alone.

Cancer is a terrible way to pass and it hurts to watch our loved ones go through it, I know.

You can keep talking here if it helps, as it helped me get through my loss.