Thanks so much for your support. It has been really helpful to have this forum. Its nice to get some of these thoughts out of my head and out on paper, ya know? One of the things I loved about my relationship with my sister is that I always had a place to share how I felt and this board has provided me with a place to do that in a more consistent way.

Today was a bit better. I got several pats on the back at work today which made me feel so good. Grief/loss reactions/depression has this strange way of making you feel instantly insecure and unsure, but people seem to like me there (although I sometimes have the automatic thought of --why do they like me so much?). It was nice to feel competent in some area...to know I can do something well. I also ate sensibly today which made me feel good. I ate when I was hungry, stopped when I was a little more than full (BABY STEPS!)

I do wonder if I overcompensate in some areas where I feel like people have often teased me--like I am late a lot so if I do anything on time I feel the need to tell people about it lots because its almost like I'm saying "I told you I could do things right and on time" even when those people don't know me well enough to know that I have struggled with not procastinating in the past. The constant comments about it have really hurt my feelings in the past because I end up feeling underestimated. Do you guys have any areas that are like this for you? What do you do about it when you feel this way?