Well, I am better then I was earlier today. I don't know. I'm desperately trying to find a full time job, but it is not easy. I had a job interview 2 weeks ago, and was told that it would take about 2 weeks to make a decision. Well, I still haven't heard anything back, so I'm really thinking I didn't get the job. What makes matters worse, is my parents and one of my sisters. Basically, my sister puts me down all the time, which is probably why I hate myself. I would love to work full time, but she pretty much implied that I have almost no work skills, so nobody will hire me, but yet she keeps telling me to get a job. My dad agreed with her to an extent. I asked them the types of work they could see me doing, but they said I would probably get too stressed out doing most things.

Right now, I work part time in a restaurant, cleaning it. I do not hate working there because the people I work with are always nice, but I hate the work now. I feel like I'm wasting my life, and like nothing better will ever come along. Heck, in the past week, I've been so anxious about not wanting to go to work that I've been making myself late on most days. I also have cried in the bathroom there by myself when I've really felt like just going home and crawling back into bed for the rest of the day. Granted, I always stick it out, and I do not ever go back to bed, but I feel like having these feelings means something.

I just don't know what to do anymore.