i was giggling through half my session... i can't believe he said this. Now, you gotta understand, not only can i say anything to my T... but he can say pretty much anything to me too. (yes, there are exceptions of course, but i mean i dont get offended easy) Anyways... we were talking about anxiety.. and he drew out a diagram of pattern reactions and interception techniques. i had made a list of things to say to myself when i am upset, etc... and he was pointing out just where i was intercepting the anxiety... but what he said was:

"see, this is where you catch it.... oh no.. I just said cat shitt"

i started laughing so hard! omg.. so funny.... hahahahahahahahahahahaha.. it was hard to focus after that.

but anyways... he was so pleased with what i had done to try to cope. The list had things to help me calm myself.. and it had statements to remind myself of the reasons why things *can* be ok again. These aren't things i believe... yet. They are goal beliefs... either way, he was full of "that is really good" statements today . Yay for me

i was trying to describe to him the Friday panic attack.. the worst one i have ever had.. it seemed like PTSD reaction. So all-encompassing, physical, mental, emotional. It scared me to death... i told T i never ever ever want to experience that again. In my message i told him that i was not entirely safe (that was friday i mean). In trying to describe the whole thing.. and what triggered me in the first place... sure enough, it started again. i only got mildly anxious.. on my scale anyways... my heart rate went up, i was getting flushed/chills, palms sweating, irratic breathing... and so on. T was so good... he softened his tone a lot.. talked to me about breathing, talked me into slowing it, breathing deeper.. and reminded me off and on throughout the session to keep going back to that.

it was a good day.