I am so discouraged. I have not hurt myself in about 3-4 months. I have gone longer periods before, but this time is different. I now live with my dad and step-mom so I can save money for school and just get back on my feet. I can't hurt myself here, they would both be so irrate. I used to live with them about 10 years ago and my ste-mom was furious with me telling me that I am never to do that while living under her roof and how disrespectful it was to her. Believe me that has stuck with me forever. I love being be myself and am usually ok with it. Tonight it is different. I want to cut, burn, hit whatever I can do to cause physical pain on myself SOOOOOO BAD! I just want the pain to end. I can't stand feeling all these feelings all the time. I just want to leave and go away forever. I was going to pack up my car and leave and not tell anyone, but that will lead to other things. Anyways, thanks for listening.