((((((((((((piscesmom)))))))))))))))))

You've admitted that you've fallen into old patterns, and that's good. I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Does your T know about this, and perhaps can find a way to help you? Perhaps while on your vacation you can still eat and drink, but aim for smaller portions and "lower calorie" foods at least? I hope your vacation is good at least, and it can still be good, even when dealing with this.