One question I have to ask is....... Were you ever sexually abused as a child?

I ask this question as it could be the core reason you are feeling as you do...... old wounds being resonated?

Second question would be... Have you ever been made to feel dirty about sex due to religious up bringing?

I ask this question as I have dealt with people that were made to look upon sex as a ugly thing - something that only perverts part take in.... and this is not true.

Third Question.... Do "YOU" feel dirty about being gay due to what the public eye says?

If yes... then you and you alone will have to come to terms with who you are and know that you are lovable no matter what you sexual orientation is... and until you do this you will forever be living in some else's insecurity.