(((Kiya)))

I am so sorry you are feeling so crappy. You need a survival plan.

Can you change the way you look at your situation? Get that little girl inside to embrace her magical thinking. (There are benefits to acknowledging the inner child...) Maybe you can think of your home simply as the place that you sleep. Period. Begin spending as much time as possible OUT of the house. Go to the library during the day and spend more time in the community.

So, while the inner child is helping you survive, it's time for the adult to step up. I think Sunny has a good idea. Tell T that you need to look at the idea of moving in a different light (whatever light that is for you). It sound like the whole "traditional" prospect of goals, etc. feels overwhelming to you. If that's the case you need to break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks. Don't think of each step as the OMG I am moving piece. Think of each step as a goal in and of itself and maybe it won't feel so huge and overpowering.

Keep talking to us.

Peace