((((((((((((Shadow))))))))))))) Wow, what a dilemma. Like Kiya, I don't feel like there is ever a choice in when I switch. However, I have talked to some other people who do have that control so I wonder if it's something I can learn to do as I get more awareness and co-conscious.

Hmm, as I sit here and think about it, T has talked to parts and I do think I have to give up some control for it sometimes. After all, it's one brain and it was designed pretty intricately for dealing with everything. Just as our brains somehow began this process of splitting, our brains hold the key to healing and other things too. I don't know. I need to think on that some more about my own brain. Thank you for bringing this subject up.

Is your husband understanding about parts? It would be hard to feel safe after a fight, in my opinion and that alone would make me want to keep the control. But if husband understands and accepts parts, and you know through it all that he is a safe person, perhaps it would be a good thing for him to know all of you.

My husband has passed, but I do think he knew about, if not talked to, the parts. He just did not have a name for what was going on. So it might be that your husband has talked with some before? I guess it all comes down to the question of how much you trust husband.

Well, that wasn't much help, I'm so sorry. I do think there are pros and cons to letting her talk to husband. Perhaps writing them down would make things more clear. Would you feel comfortable showing husband the pros and cons list? That in itself might tell if you trust him enough to talk to all of you.

Please take care and keep us posted.